From the category archives:

Internet Dating

#internetdatingfail

May 14, 2009

Ok, here’s some more internet dating fun for you, dear reader.  Please feel free to poke fun at me as much as you wish in the comments section – I’m pretty sure I can take it.  My latest attempt is below: an email I sent via Yahoo! Personals this past Friday.  By way of background [...]

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Death to eHarmony

March 21, 2009

The only thing that has thusfar kept me from putting my fist through my screen in an attempt to cause great pain to eHarmony has been the fact that – aside from my education and car – my laptop is the most expensive thing I own.  Not, I repeat: not because I know that eHarmony [...]

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Donkey Seeks Girl Dragon

March 16, 2009

…or “ISO Female Hiking Partner for Sex in the Woods.” I’m looking for a woman in good shape who owns crampons and snowshoes and knows how to sh*t in the woods.  Someone capable of climbing mountains, someone who actually enjoys sweating.  I’m out there every weekend, looking at the world from the tops of mountains, [...]

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The non-Art of Internet Dating

January 29, 2009

Below are more failed internet dating pickup lines from October and November of 2008 (all on Yahoo! Personals).  I’m not quite sure if there’s anything cathartic about reading back through these.  Click here for December 2008 and early January 2009.  You’ll see that I was in a bit of a jaded/cynical phase around the beginning [...]

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Internet Dating Pickup Lines That Didn’t Work

January 13, 2009

My only critic taller than 6′ (and, consequently, my biggest), Tom, said that he would like more internet dating stories.  Preferably funny ones.  Here’s a start.  I’m not sure if these are funny “ha-ha” or funny “awww” (or even funny anything), but what the heck, they’re a bit embarrassing for me, so they have to [...]

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More Internet Dating Karma

December 31, 2008

Internet dating karma after the first date: It’s ok to just let it go.  No further contact.  No calls, no emails, no text messages.  They’ll figure it out; I always do. I don’t think there’s any necessity to have a “we’re breaking up” conversation after one date.  This is also why I don’t really belive [...]

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Internet Dating Faux Pas?

December 31, 2008

Ooh.  So is it a bad move to email a girl on an internet dating site when one’s blog address is posted thereon – especially when one just posted about internet dating?  Stay tuned, dear readers:  I’ll let you know in the next couple of days. My blog stats just jumped up from the zero [...]

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Internet Dating Karma

December 30, 2008

I believe in karma.  Not long ago, I posted the Gatha of Atonement under the heading “Act of Contrition”.  I suppose I’m still a little iffy on the whole reincarnation concept, but I belive in the general principle of “what goes around comes around.” In the internet dating world, this means that I don’t send nasty [...]

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The Best Internet Pickup Line Ever

November 25, 2008

Hi __, I’m Ted.   I’m picking up what you’re putting down on the chemistry thing. Will you be the Na+ to my Cl-? Or is that too salty? I don’t know the chemical makeup of the scent of an hyacinth, but maybe we can try that instead.   Ach. Though I, too, share your [...]

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Current Y! Personals Profile

October 20, 2008

Heading:  “Anachronistic Hermit”   Above all, I’m a gentleman. I live alone, sans television; I read A LOT. In the car I listen to heavy metal and at home classical music. I enjoy my job, but it’s not everything to me. I’m very independent. Overall, I’m a very friendly person, but I only have a [...]

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