So it’s 3:24 in the PM on a Tuesday, and I’ve been basically dicking around on facebook and imgur all day (while keeping an eye on and generally ignoring the work inbox). I have a relatively short to-do list in my Evernote, which consists of items that are specific, quick, easy, difficult, long-term, and/or vague. After I get frustrated with seeing the same crap over and over on facebook, but before I jump over to see the most viral posts (newest first) that have loaded to imgur in the last 5-10 minutes, I look at that list and think how quick and easy it would be to do a couple of those items. Then I flip over to imgur and hate myself a little.
The Year of the Sheep has not been a very ambitious one for me so far. Thus, it has also been less fulfilling than it could have been. I have so little self-motivation. I’ve done a great job at getting done the things that are thrown at me or end up in my way, but I always revert back to sitting on my ass in my office and doing essentially nothing all day. I’m too afraid to do the things I ‘want’ to do because of the things I think I ‘should’ be doing. And the kicker is that the while the ‘shoulds’ seemingly outweigh the ‘wants’, neither are clear or specific. Neither is? Fuck.
So yeah, because I’m afraid of ‘wasting time’ on something I might want to do in the moment, I’ve been wasting time doing nothing. Hopefully I’ll have more to say tomorrow, because at least I can check the box next to “blog post” on today’s list.