Fine-Tuning the Meat Suit

January 26, 2011 · 1 comment

Ok, ok, ok.  I know it’s been way too long.  Sheesh.  I’ve been busy.

Life is good, dear reader.  Busy, but very very good.

So here’s the skinny for the past couple of weeks or so:

I’ve been hiking (duh).  On the weekends.  Both days.  Lots of miles, lots of mountains.  Fifteen mountains and about 87 miles since the winter started.  My snowshoes *might* make it through this season.  I mean, they’ll make it, but I’m seriously considering getting a new pair.  I’ve already been at them with a file to re-work the grip on the outside, but even the new notches are quickly getting worn away.  I’m 150/420 for the Grid and have 11 mountains left to climb in the month of January.  I won’t get to all of them this January, but that’s cool:  9 for January of 2012 is totally doable.  I fucken love hiking . . . er, peakbagging.  Speaking of, check out this trip report from my friend Kevin – it’s a pretty nuts story (and very well written).

Work is going pretty well as well.  My nominal boss called me last Thursday while I was working from home, just to go over some ideas about “how to make Ted some crazy money.”  How cool is that?  Hopefully, we’ll be able to work something out in the very near future that will start netting me even bigger bucks than I’m already making.  I’m sure I’ve already mentioned it, but work is also paying for me to take a bar prep class so that I can take the NJ bar exam at the end of February.  Class is in Newark from 6-10PM, Monday through Friday.  It started a couple of weeks ago and continues through most of February.  It’s a real pain in the ass, but whatever:  I’d never find the time to study on my own and I’m learning a lot.

I get home kind of late and am missing out hardcore on the stuff I normally do in the evenings, but that’s cool – it’s only for a few more weeks.  I’m still working every day, but not nearly as much.  Same amount of work to do, but less time in which to do it.  Again, the people at work have been great about working with my schedule:  I’m usually in around 9/9:30 and out by 5.  The stuff that used to take me a day or so is now taking a couple of days and things are kinda sorta starting to pile up, but I don’t give a rat’s ass – which is (mentally) a really cool place for me to be.

As I mentioned, I took last Thursday off from work – I just had too many things of a non-work nature that needed to get done and I sure as hell wasn’t going to get them done in the office.  I took care of my laundry, house cleaning, and various other errands, and made appointments with the regular doctor for a check-up (“the works” is what I asked for), as well as an appointment with an acupuncturist.

That appointment was yesterday.  It was pretty interesting.  We sat down for a few minutes and discussed my lifestyle and general health-related habits.  I told the acupuncturist that I think I’m running at about 85-95% capacity/efficiency and that what I’m looking for is a tune-up:  I want to get to 95-98% capacity/efficiency.  I think he picked up what I was putting down, but we’ll see next week:  I have two more appointments (Monday and Thursday).  I’ll know better after Monday’s appointment if the acupuncture is working and whether I want to continue to see the guy.  White guy.  Irish guy.  Studied in China and a couple of other places in Asia.  He’s young, but I think he knows what he’s doing.  Again, we’ll see.  I’m reserving judgment at the moment.

After discussing my health/eating habits and whatnot, he told me to undress to my underwear and get on the table.  I was like “um, do you have a towel or anything, ’cause I’m one of those commando guys and I’m not really sure you want the whole show on the first date.”  So I ended up just stripping down to my suit pants and rolling up the legs.  It worked out fine.  He stuck a bunch of needles in my legs to start and attached wires to them to increase the flow of ions between the points.  Then he did this thing where he put these little silly putty cones (some kind of -wort) on my feet, lit them on fire, and pulled them off one at a time as they started to burn my feet.  Pretty cool.  I experimented with when I told him I could feel them and found that there was a second or two of lag time between when I felt them burn and when they actually did.  Which is to say that I’d say “ok” (meaning I could feel the burn), he’d pull the thingie off, and a second or two later I’d *really* feel the burn.  Pretty cool.  Er, hot.

After that, he stuck more needles in my legs and some in my arms and attached wires among them.  He said “it’s like conducting a symphony.”

Supposedly, I was to feel better/different when I walked out than when I walked in.  I can’t say that I really did, but again, I’m reserving judgment.  I figure if I were way out of shape or all kinds of fucked up (in a different way, I mean) that I’d’ve felt much different, but I’m in pretty good shape and wasn’t there for any kind of major overhaul:  just a tune-up.  Some fine-tuning of my meat suit.  I felt kind of the way I do when I get out of a particularly intense/meditative yoga class.  No great “heightened awareness” per se, but a little more open.

Following his advice, I picked up some apple cider vinegar, some kind of yogurty pro-biotic drink, herring and something else that I can’t remember, so that I can start getting some better molecule stuff into me.  We talked a bit about whether I was ready to quit smoking (he said he can help with that) and I said not really.  We also talked about quitting drinking coffee for about 30 days, after which I can have a cup once a month or once a week or something (I don’t remember).

So I didn’t have any coffee today.  Weird.  I really only drink two things:  coffee and water.  I’ve been drinking Gatorade more often after hiking to replenish my electrolytes and adding Nuun capsules to my water while I’m hiking for the same reason.  But normally, it’s just coffee and water.  Well, now it’s just tea and water.  I’m kind of surprised that I made the decision to follow his advice and quit drinking coffee so easily – I’d’ve thought it would have been more of a struggle for me.  I fucken love coffee.  I fucken love coffee.  So nice I had to say it twice.  Weird.  Again:  weird.  It’s pretty cool to know that I have that kind of willingness to change (ostensibly for the better).

I have an appointment with the regular doctor on Thursday.  Complete physical:  blood work and everything.  I hope “the works” doesn’t involve the finger-in-the-ass thing, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.  My doctor’s name is Cynthia (Cindy, I think) and she’s a nurse practitioner.  I haven’t seen her in a year or two, but from what I remember, she was kinda cute.  Maybe I can finagle her into buying me dinner before she sticks her finger up my butt.  =/  I’ll let you know.

I’m going to cross-reference both the regular meat suit doctor and the acupuncturist with one another:  tell them about each other and see what I can learn from both of them.  They might have suggestions for each other.  No threesomes, though, I think:  unless Cindy knows a cute GIRL acupuncturist, in which case it’ll totally be game on.  We can take the tuned-up meat suit out for a spin – burn some rubbers and all that.

Yeah, I think I’m going to dream about hot chick NPs in fishnets, stilettos and black latex sticking needles into me tonight.

Peace out, dear reader; if I were you, I’d be wishing I were me right about now.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Jennifer January 26, 2011 at 15:24

Busy Busy Busy!!!!
I’m glad you are taking care of yourself.
Quitting coffee will prep you to quit tobacco.
At the gym this morning, I discovered I didn’t pack my panties. I’m not a fan of sans undergarments….wait….There are always exceptions.
Hope you have fun with the N.P.


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