Even More Internet Dating

December 6, 2010 · 4 comments

Once upon a time, dear reader, I was an internet dating website addict.  I used to come home from work, turn on my computer and open up Internet Explorer.  My home pages were Yahoo! Personals, OkCupid, PlentyofFish, and eHarmony.  (Hell, I might have even had my IE in my startup folder.)  Then I’d spend the next few hours browsing profiles and sending emails to chicks that never emailed back.

I’d start with the most attractive profiles, but that would only cover about 3-5% of all of them, and soon I’d be out of chicks to email.  Then I’d go from “damn!  I’d effin marry her” to “maybe she’s more interesting in person – you never know” to “this one probably doesn’t get as many emails as the others – maybe she’ll email me back” to “she’s brand-new and probably hasn’t gotten that many emails yet” and finally to “fuckit, her self-esteem is probably low enough to go out with me”.  No shit.  I’d look at the same profiles over and over and over.  It was quite hypnotizing and frustrating.

And discouraging.

And a helluva waste of time.

Then one day I decided I spent way too much time on an obviously unproductive errand and deleted those sites from my home pages.  Having to actually type the URL in was an excellent deterrant to getting caught trolling the internet for chicks for hours at a time every night.

I’m halfway back to my old tricks.  The nice thing about this time is that I have a relatively been-there-done-that kind of feeling, so I don’t anticipate that I’ll be wiling away the rest of my winter staring at internet dating sites.  Not that I didn’t just spend an hour sending (to my mind) clever little emails out.

I think the key this time around is not to put my head on the pillow and say “please god, if *that* one will just email me back, I won’t ask for anything else ever again.”

Pfft.  Good luck with that, dickhead.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Sally Wilhite December 7, 2010 at 01:12

I am laughing so effin’ hard over the tags at the bottom of the blog post!

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Debbie December 7, 2010 at 10:04

Just watch, now that you’re so aloof and cool about it, the ladies will be all over you. Desperation is not sexy.

Reply

FatVegan December 7, 2010 at 10:58

I too enjoyed the tags and am glad internet dating is back it makes for some great blog post.

Reply

Thomas F Rankin December 7, 2010 at 16:12

Life would be so boring w/o you Ted!

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