Yes, yes, I know, dear reader: it’s been quite a long time since my last post.
A lot’s been going on lately and I’ve mostly been keeping to myself. Oh, I’ve been talking to people here and there about things, and it’s not that I didn’t feel comfortable talking to you about them, dear reader, but, well, I haven’t felt comfortable talking to you about them.
I quit my job on Thursday. Scratch that – I ‘resigned’ on Thursday: handed my boss my resignation letter at the end of the day. I had to go into the office for a bit on Friday, I suppose to bring closure, though there wasn’t really anything for me to do. Everything I’d been working on had been tied off or handed off in the past week or so. I think my boss saw it coming, but I don’t think he was expecting it – if that makes sense.
I’m starting at a new firm soon. It’s a start-up, and I’ll be in on the ground floor. Several of my colleagues from the old firm are already there and I’m excited to work with them again – they’re the ones from the old firm who actually worked.
I’ve known for several weeks that I’d be moving firms, but couldn’t really tell anyone at the old place until I’d squared away all my stuff. The last few weeks have been torturous for me: I’ve not been sleeping well and my self-doubt has been at the forefront of my thinking.
After I resigned on Thursday night, and knowing that I’d have to go into the office on Friday and face everyone, I went to see Inception with my sister Katie. It was pretty good, though I think it could have been much better. At least it was entertaining and got me out of my head for those few hours before I went to bed.
And, it helped me realize that I’d been spending so much (too much) time in my head lately. Mostly falling prey to my self-doubt and thinking along pessimistic lines. I don’t mean to say that I’ve stopped all that and have reverted to a pollyannaish outlook, but rather that the movie helped me become aware of just how much time I’d spent concocting possible future scenarios in my imagination – and negative ones, at that.
Not blogging about my thoughts and feelings on the whole scenario was tough but necessary. There are one or two people with whom I work who know about this site and I couldn’t risk letting any of my plans become public knowledge at work.
Special thanks to Jen, Heather, Anna and Didi for talking with me via email about what’s been going on in my head.
I’m still a bit nervous for the future, but I’m also confident that I can handle whatever comes. I’m excited in a subdued fashion to see how things unfold over the next few weeks. I just re-read Sun Tzu’s Art of War and am currently reading both Richard Branson’s Losing My Virginity and Bruce Lee’s The Tao of Jeet Kune Do. I think I’m going to read a few books on military history, in order to have some practical examples to which I can relate the aphorisms from Art of War.