My computer is wicked slow. This, in and of itself is enough to drive me nuts. However, it’s also beginning to seriously inhibit my pr0n consumption – and that’s a problem. My home computer, I mean: the one at work is mens-a-mens speed-wise.
I’ve got about half a dozen different post topics running through my mind, any of which would be good for this evening, but I just can’t seem to pick one. This is indicative/illustrative of my overall indecisiveness in life right now: I have many options, but am having trouble choosing an initial direction. “The longest journey begins with but a single step,” as the poet once said, and I’m shuffling around – not even doing circles or shuffling to a rhythm or beat, just getting my shoes dirty and generally being afraid of stubbing my toes. And it’s pissing me off because I’m cognizant of it while I’m doing it. And that’s not like me – the shuffling, not the cognizance (that’s very like me).
Here are some of the things I’d like to tell you about, dear reader:
- People telling me Laila Jo is “my cat”
- Updated inventory/priorities list
- Zen in my life
- Zen and the art of chili (a recipe for Emily)
- Impressions/vibes regarding MOT 2010 and my “friends from the internet”
- On being a night owl
- My overall frustrations with NNJ and the lack of date-able chicks herein
- My sex/relationship ideal
- The current/general state of my spiritual progress
- The Eckhart Tolle CDs I listened to on the way to and from RI
Any of these topics should be good for at least 500 words from yours truly, dear reader, but I can’t seem to stop dissembling.
In an attempt to do so this evening, I did my laundry and cleaned my apartment. Last week I bought a new air conditioner, thinking that my old one wasn’t kicking out any cold air any more. The new one wasn’t doing a very good job of cooling my apartment, and I realized that it’s producing approximately the same amount of cold air as the old one – which made me reconsider my diagnosis of the old one as broken. In any case, I now have two air conditioning units going in my windows (right next to one another) and they seem to be getting the job done. (My windows are small, so the units necessarily are as well.) Can’t wait to see my effin PSE&G bill next month.
So I swept, vacuumed, did the dishes, re-installed the old AC and did a pretty thorough cleansing of my apartment with some white sage. Oh, and I did my laundry as well. I really need to buy some new sheets: these autumn-leaves flannel ones really don’t give off a particularly summery vibe.
After cleaning and clearing, I did some standing meditation for a few minutes in an attempt to enjoy and further smooth out the feng shui of my living space. Somewhere in all that, I also recorded the following minute of zen:
It took me several months to hang my wind chime, but tonight I was very glad I (eventually) did.
My desk is still a mess. It’s totally fucking up the energy of both my apartment and me. I’ve been meaning to clean it for several months now, but just haven’t. On the upside, procrastinating cleaning my desk has led to many other projects getting done.
So whatever. I’ll change when the pain gets great enough. Let me know if any of the above (bulleted) topics appeal to you, dear reader: that might help me out with this whole shit-or-get-off-the-pot thing.