Spotted Hyenas

June 17, 2010 · 2 comments

> Subject: Christmas This Year
> Date: Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:25:56 -0400
> From: [Ted’s Work Email]
> To: [Mom’s Work Email]
>
>
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> Dear Mom,
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> If you’re planning to get me socks for Christmas this year, that will be fine. I love it when you get me socks. If you end up looking for something besides or in addition to socks, please consider a spotted hyena:
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> <http://www.pieterhugo.com/selected-work/the-hyena-other-men/3.jpg/>
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> They look really sweet and I’m sure would love to be rescued from Africa. (They live in a fucking desert.)
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> Love,
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> Ted

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Jennifer June 17, 2010 at 13:45

So, I like your idea except for a few reasons:
My poodle already wakes me up when she has bad dreams in my room. Can you imagine the creepy noises a hyena would make?
Are you sure you want to feed an animal that large?
Would your neighbors want to kill it for an exotic rug that is all the rage?
And it is a freaking wild animal, dude!

Just as a side note: I think it is actually against the law to love your pet this much: http://www.pieterhugo.com/files/albums/selected-work/the-hyena-other-men/19.jpg

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Heather June 17, 2010 at 18:34

Been there done that. Well, not exactly… but my uncle really did have a pet hyena. He told US customs that it was a dog and he brought it into this county from Kenya. It was the late 1960s… anyway, it didn’t work out well. I just remember “Elizabeth” drooling a lot. She did not make a good pet. I suggest you consider a capybara or nutria.

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