Ok. Check it as I wreck it:
I’ve been all over the place lately. Looking for instant gratification in all the wrong places. Well, the right places, but instant gratification isn’t what I need; I get too wrapped up in it and forget about long-term goals.
So here’s my plan: I’m going to do an inventory and figure out what my goals are (or are going to be or should be or whatever). That way, I can start out on the path toward these goals, instead of running around (figuratively) jerking off all over the place and not really getting anything substantial done with my life at present.
- I’m going to start by making a list of all the things I want to do or have. The beginning of that list is below.
- Then I’m going to group those things in the list into…well, things that are like each other.
- After that, I’m going to put those groups into an order of priority – which ones I want to get/achieve first.
- Then (I may skip that last step and go directly to this one) I’m going to figure out a couple of long- and short-term life goals and start moving toward them. Inexorably.
You see, I’ve been all over the place lately and I realize that I haven’t been moving toward any particular goals at all. I’m just kind of doing things for a “feel good” sensation as soon as possible. But I’m repeating myself.
The purpose of this is to get me back onto a normal cycle of effort and sense of accomplishment. I know that even just a little bit of a sense of accomplishment is like a catalyst for more effort. It’s definitely an ouroborean chicken/egg thing: one begets the other.
It’s an unending cycle. Except that at some point in the past few months, the cycle ended for me. Well maybe not ended. Maybe a wave analogy would be better at this point:
My emotional wave has become completely irregular – amplitude, wavelength, and period are not predictable. In my attempt to increase the frequency of my “feel good” moments (metaphors officially mixed), I shorten the wavelength by messing around too much on facebook and other social media sites (or doing other things), but eventually get bored and flatline for a bit – before starting all over again. But again, everything is irregular. There’s no predictability. I need to get back to the rolling waves of the deep ocean (see me in my little lifeboat, riding to the crest, then surfing into the trough).
Seriously, I know you don’t usually click the links, dear reader, but if you check out the bewitched pictures in the last couple of links, you’ll get a better feel for what I’m talking about.
Did I mention that my facebook time is now spent reading in English (Pirate)?
So. Before I digress further, here’s the beginning of my list (I’ll continue to add to it in the next few days)”
Things I’d Like to Do/Have
- 46ers patch
- 3500 Club winter patch
- more $
- my own business
- bar membership(s)/solo practitioner attorney
- social media gig
- new suit
- pay off student loans
- new jeans
- be more on time to work
- become a more proficient bass player
- more social media followers/friends/influence
Yes, yes, I know that most of these things are material and that I seem to be ignoring the spiritual. But please remember, dear reader, that I’m a zen pragmatist. I believe strongly in “chop wood, fetch water, seek enlightenment” and other such things. “Bring the body and the mind will follow” is a good one too. My mind is always going anyway; as long as I’m doing something, my thoughts tend to be clearer and less jumbled. This lonely philosopher achieves enlightenment through action.