Trolling for Chicks on the Internet

I’ve been feeling like I’m halfway getting a cold over the past couple of days.  On Monday, my head felt a bit congested – but not in my sinuses, kind of like over my ears.  You know, where my brain should be filling the space?  I don’t get it, but it was worse today:  I felt kind of like my head was in a wind tunnel or under water all day.  Very disorienting.

So yeah, I obviously can’t come up with anything interesting to write about tonight, so how about some craisgslist scrapings of mine?  For the past month or so, I’ve been posting in the “missed connections” section.  The internet dating sites I’m on are kind of boring right now, so I figured I’d try something new.

Re: Happy Birthday Again – m4w (berkeley)
You: The birthday girl.
Me: The clown your parents hired.
When you sat on my lap for the picture, holding the balloon bicycle wheel I twisted for you, I thought I’d start crying. But you did first. That was SO hot. Let’s do it again.

Re: FULL MOON – m4w (mission district)
I’m the guy with the face paint and the “I <3 Fat Bitches” t-shirt. You laughed and pointed me out to your friends. I want to feed you.

you dropped your phone downtown – m4w – 19 (santa cruz)
…and I picked it up. You wiped my palm-sweat off on that oh-so-sexy leg of your jeans. I started to say something just as you did and we both stopped and turned away. I think you’re as shy as me. Let’s meet again, I have plenty more sweat and maybe some words this time.

asian girl sjsu 4th st parking garage – m4w – 23 (san jose downtown)
I was jacking that beemer, lol. I still have it. Want a ride, emo girl?

Lavender at Target – m4w – 27 (concord / pleasant hill / martinez)
I’m not gay, I was just trying out my Halloween costume. I told you that, but I don’t think you believed me. I can prove it. Srsly. Find me.

To the beautiful woman who smiled outside WF – m4w (campbell)
I want you SO bad. My loins scream your name. Please, please tell me your name so I can shut them up.

Mezzanine after lovefest in VIP – m4w – 25 (Sf / lovefest )
I know you’re a hottie under that handlebar. Lady Gaga’s got nothing on you. Tell me that dude in the beard you were making out with was just a one-time thing. I think I love you, and that’s forever.

PS: I have your sequined boxers. Want ‘em back?

Ladies – m4w (hollister)
Hey I’m 18 in Ridgewood NJ looking for a girl just to do some thing with you know. Nothing serious just fun hit me up girls

Janey from Match.com – m4w 32 (the city)
I’m not paying for that stupid site when the only one for me is you. Please respond. I’m rich.

to the cute girl who works at the library – m4w (berkeley)
You could be a pr0n star. Srsly. I can make it happen. Just U n me tho. Cam first, I don care. Want U so bad, sexy liberrian.

Bachelorette Party at Cabo Wabo Sunday – m4w – 27 (South Lake Tahoe)
Your friends did body shots off me, but you didn’t want to touch another man. I can respect that kind of fidelity. That’s exactly what I want, but can never seem to find. Come on, baby, drop the zero and get with the hero. My studio awaits…

Regarding Fate – m4w – 22 (the city)
Look, I know your brother’s my best friend, but what we share can’t be denied. You know who this is. I’ll wait for you 3 blocks down from where the school bus lets you off. He can’t pick you up this week and it’s supposed to rain, so nobody’ll say boo when I bring you home all wet.

What I didn’t realize until about a week ago was that I’ve been posting these on the San Francisco Bay page of craigslist.  I got like three responses, but the pics were horrible.  I’m talking throw-up-on-my-keyboard horrible.  Oh well, it’s a start.  I think I’m getting the hang of it.  I posted a handful on the nyc page tonight, but I’m not going to share them with you just yet, dear reader, because I don’t want to jinx myself.

Tagged as: craigslist, Internet Dating, trolling the internet for chicks