On Meeting People on the Internet

August 20, 2009 · 7 comments

I’m kind of a weirdo.  I don’t have too much of a problem admitting that.  It works like this:  like most people, I have idiosyncracies, some of which I’ve cultivated.  At some point, they may have qualified as affectations, but now they’re part of who I am.  Some of the bits of uniqueness that I’ve chosen to cultivate are ones that place me outside the realm of “normal” society.  I dig that.  I am an individual and want to be treated as such.  I fully recognize these can be ego-feeding propositions, and I will also admit that my motives were once-upon-a-time exactly that.

However, I’m trying not to be like that anymore  – an egomaniac, that is.  But I still retain foibles from the old days.

Acting in a fashion that qualifies me as a “weirdo” is kind of an amalgam of all of the above.  I’m an extremist, so I’d rather be WAY different from everybody else than be just a little bit out-of-the-ordinary.  So sometimes I act out a bit in order to be…recognized as an individual.  I want to make an impression; I want to be remembered, not forgotten among the masses.  Case in point:  you’re reading it right now.

So.  That said, it follows as a corollary that I’ve kind of a loose tongue – or, if you will, keyboard – on facebook and other social media sites.

BUT:  I don’t consider the people I meet on said social media sites to be simply electronic forms of entertainment and avenues for my own selfish ego-feeding self-expression.  I consider the people I meet on these sites (e.g. facebook and Twitter) to be real people.  People with thoughts and feelings and idiosyncracies of their own.  People whose feelings I can and will hurt if I’m not careful with my words and how they may be construed.

And, call me naive, but I kind of expect the same in return.

I believe that there’s an actual person behind the avatar, and I try to treat the person behind the cartoon avatar from Walla Walla Washington or East Bumblef*ck Australia or Canada or wherever as I’d treat the person in the next cube over from me at work or in line at the Starbucks or next to me on the mat in yoga class.  I believe in karma.  If one of my friends from the aforementioned far-from-me locations were to pass through northern NJ, I’d certainly open my home to them.

That last statement may be pushing the line a bit when viewed in the converse – I can’t really say I’d expect one of my social media friends to open their home to me, but heck, is a little politeness on the internet too much to ask?

Anyway, the point of all this is that my feelings got hurt via the internet today, and I’m pretty sure it’s my own damned fault.  A friend of mine from Twitter rejected my friend request on facebook.  I know, I know, “Boo-hoo.  Cry me a river.  Somebody call the waa-aaaambulance.”

Oh well, I’m over it.  This isn’t the first time this has happened, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Didi August 20, 2009 at 05:46

So, can I have your bed when I drop by? Make sure the bathroom’s well-stocked with the right toiletries, etc.

Aww… screw that! I accepted your friend request, so be happy with that. Hahaha


BRIAN August 20, 2009 at 09:25

You’re a loser. There’s nothing unique about that.


Avia Venefica August 20, 2009 at 10:02

*ack* I’m “duplicating content” here by reproducing my FB comment here…oh well it’s repeat-worthy:


Ted, you really are the “nice guy” proclaimed in your Twitter moniker.

A teacher of mine once said: “Avia, because you care so deeply, you are compelled to feel hurt deeply as well.” I don’t know if that’s a lightbulb for you, but it was for me.

I recognize your eccentricities, oddities, diversity. And even tho I may not climb a’board all the ships you sail upon – we’re in the same high seas. I love watching you roll through these waters of life in your own classically unique style…. Read More

Sail on.

Be well & high beams,


Katie August 20, 2009 at 10:26

I agree with the first sentance… you are kinda a weirdo. But that is what makes us love you so much. Now leave the pitty party and accept your awesomeness. If I ever opened a twitter account you would be the first friend request i sent out!


Being Samiantha August 20, 2009 at 11:17

There is nothing odd or weird about opening your home to online people you’ve built rapports with over time.

Those people usually make the transition into your daily life long before then, by msn, skype, etc and become actual friends from a different venue.

I use to blog on LJ and have made some great friends.
Yes I call them FRIENDS, for the fact I used that blog for some of the most offkilter things my mind could sort through, and they (my LJ Family) expressed unconditional support, in so many ways.

So much so, we’ve all talked on the phone at some point, I’ve been invited to weddings and to house sit in Austrailla while the go on their honeymoon. Surfers in SoCal that have told me, if I pass through the area, the spare room is mine.

People surprise me on a daily basis with their kindness.

Never for a moment feel “off” cos you’ve built rapports with online people and should the chance you meet in person, well then giddie up…


Cheryl August 20, 2009 at 23:26

Anytime you are in or near Naples, my guest room is available! We could have a Mensa sleepover!


BRIAN August 21, 2009 at 09:20

You better take your ass to Naples smart guy.


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