A couple of days ago I was talking to some of the guys at work about Howard Stern – his show, his divorce, etc. I remarked that my biggest takeaway from his movie Private Parts was that it seemed almost entirely dedicated to his wife. I found a major overarching theme to be that his wife stuck by him through thick and thin. And that despite all of the questionable situations he found himself in, Howard remained faithful never cheated on her.
Which is why I was so surprised when I heard that they were getting divorced. (Yes, I know this is old news, dear reader.) If the movie was an accurate representation, it seems to me that the only reason his wife would ever leave him would be if he had cheated on her.
Now, I didn’t do any research on this topic because, well, I just don’t care enough to find out. It’s not so much the facts of the case that interest me as the underlying concept of cheating on one’s partner – and where the conversation with the guys at work went from there. One guy said something along the lines of “if I were in that situation, with hot models and whatnot constantly throwing themselves at me, there’s no way I’d be able to remain faithful to my wife.”
Call me old-fashioned, but doesn’t that pretty much go against the entire concept of marriage? This guy is married for many years with a couple of kids – I was totally taken aback at his statement. I didn’t directly contradict him because, again, I just don’t care enough about his personal moral code to say anything. But I’ll tell you what, dear reader, it definitely gave me a (fairly sickening) peek into his character. I’m going to leave it at that – I’d rather not get into the implications of his statement.
During the relatively short time that I was married, I was a relatively popular bartender at a relatively busy bar in Washington DC. I’m not a bad-looking guy now – I wasn’t back then either – and I had chicks absolutely throwing themselves at me all the time. Never once did I consider cheating on my wife – even when we were “just dating”. Even hammered out of my skull, the idea of sleeping with someone other than my partner turned my stomach (no pun, and no kidding).
Don’t get me wrong here: I’m a dude, Y chromosome and all – I looked, but I didn’t touch. Yeah, thoughts crossed my mind about what this- or that-girl would look like in her birthday suit, writhing in ecstasy under my bony frame, but they were fleeting thoughts that I didn’t pay much attention to – and acting on them wasn’t even a consideration.
So, yeah: I’m a monogamist through and through. Whatever, I’m cool with it. What I want to know is if I’m in the minority. This is really something I should be emailing The Naked Redhead about, I think. What do you think, TNR? Am I a dying breed, or are there other dudes out there like me? How about you, dear reader – what’s your opinion on the subject of cheating on a spouse/partner?