Would You Cheat?

May 22, 2009 · 5 comments

A couple of days ago I was talking to some of the guys at work about Howard Stern – his show, his divorce, etc.  I remarked that my biggest takeaway from his movie Private Parts was that it seemed almost entirely dedicated to his wife.  I found a major overarching theme to be that his wife stuck by him through thick and thin.  And that despite all of the questionable situations he found himself in, Howard remained faithful never cheated on her. 

Which is why I was so surprised when I heard that they were getting divorced.  (Yes, I know this is old news, dear reader.)  If the movie was an accurate representation, it seems to me that the only reason his wife would ever leave him would be if he had cheated on her. 

Now, I didn’t do any research on this topic because, well, I just don’t care enough to find out.  It’s not so much the facts of the case that interest me as the underlying concept of cheating on one’s partner – and where the conversation with the guys at work went from there.  One guy said something along the lines of “if I were in that situation, with hot models and whatnot constantly throwing themselves at me, there’s no way I’d be able to remain faithful to my wife.”

Call me old-fashioned, but doesn’t that pretty much go against the entire concept of marriage?  This guy is married for many years with a couple of kids – I was totally taken aback at his statement.  I didn’t directly contradict him because, again, I just don’t care enough about his personal moral code to say anything.  But I’ll tell you what, dear reader, it definitely gave me a (fairly sickening) peek into his character.  I’m going to leave it at that – I’d rather not get into the implications of his statement.

During the relatively short time that I was married, I was a relatively popular bartender at a relatively busy bar in Washington DC.  I’m not a bad-looking guy now – I wasn’t back then either – and I had chicks absolutely throwing themselves at me all the time.  Never once did I consider cheating on my wife – even when we were “just dating”.  Even hammered out of my skull, the idea of sleeping with someone other than my partner turned my stomach (no pun, and no kidding).

Don’t get me wrong here:  I’m a dude, Y chromosome and all – I looked, but I didn’t touch.  Yeah, thoughts crossed my mind about what this- or that-girl would look like in her birthday suit, writhing in ecstasy under my bony frame, but they were fleeting thoughts that I didn’t pay much attention to – and acting on them wasn’t even a consideration.

So, yeah: I’m a monogamist through and through.  Whatever, I’m cool with it.  What I want to know is if I’m in the minority.  This is really something I should be emailing The Naked Redhead about, I think.  What do you think, TNR?  Am I a dying breed, or are there other dudes out there like me?  How about you, dear reader – what’s your opinion on the subject of cheating on a spouse/partner?

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Christof May 22, 2009 at 01:24

I think there are many angles to this argument, While true, honesty is a virtue that has almost died like the knights of yore, men have a status to live up to these days and sadly that status is not one best befitting them.

I find it quizzical most times when guys act the sexual flamboyant fools while a ring sits snugly around their finger.

yet women expect nothing less, once a man is married he becomes fair game to the single girl…. he becomes the challenge, a war that must be won as it were.

I’m married and have been for coming on 10 years, so many times have I had the opportunity to cheat but never had the desire…isn’t that why we get married?

Still with my proud vocal achievements they are still cast aside by the female eyes of doubt.

It’s a sad no win situation that many men finally give up the fight over and decide to enjoy that single moment of physical huffing and puffing, regardless of the ramifications…strangely sex brings out the “Screw the next day” attitude…I blame the pheromones.

Don’t get me wrong there is many a woman that I see downtown and think “God Damn!” but I still turn around and go about my day, it’s down to individuals and how much respect they have for their spouse….actually I take that back, it’s down to how much respect they have for themselves.

Anyone can cheat like anyone can kill another human being, yet when it comes to taking a life most of us don’t…..because we know it’s wrong, like we know cheating is wrong……to a point.

We are bred to fail, just look up to the stars and you’ll see the truth…well the Hollywood stars at least, boys grow up believing it is their lot in life to be two things…. the bread winning faithful or the player.

Tell me if you were in your teens, which one would look more fun?

As I mentioned on Twitter while I read your Blog, two 9ish year old kids ran through the car park, the boy was in front laughing aloud as the girl was close behind waving her arms wildly and screamed over and over “Cheater!”

Kind of says it all really….at least for me.

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Cheryl May 22, 2009 at 07:46

Last night I had a dream that my husband cheated on me. The first time was forgivable (I don’t know how “dream me” came to that conclusion) but the second time he was unrepentant. When I woke up at 4:30 I wanted to kick him. Really hard. But I didn’t. I think he’s one of those guys I can’t imagine ever cheating on me. I hope.

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The Naked Redhead May 22, 2009 at 12:34

Good questions…I’ve often pondered over this issue myself. I’ve responded with my thoughts over on my blog!

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Erin May 22, 2009 at 15:59

Wow I had a dream last night that my husband cheated on me, too; with a prostitute, no less. In my dream I clearly remember thinking to myself, “this is it….I can never look back and there is no chance of ever repairing this.” There have been other issues in the past, so I guess this was the last straw. But the feeling was so clear that I didn’t think I would ever be able to get past it. Now I myself couldn’t do it. I guess, like Ted and Christof have indicated, it’s just not me. But man do I love to flirt. Is that bad?

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Tomers May 26, 2009 at 12:10

I’m with you Ted. I would be tempted if women were throwing themselves at me, but I would have a very hard time actually doing it. I would have to either be really angry with my wife or my guilt reflex would have to be drowning in alcohol. More likely I would call my wife and ask her permission to cheat on her. Ha! As if I could ever actually make that phone call.

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