Ramblings of a Madman?

May 16, 2009 · 1 comment

I’m exhausted.  The shiznit really hit the fiznan at work a week ago Thursday.  I pretty much knew it would happen, and happen quickly and unexpectedly, but dang, it was a surprise to get so busy so fast.  I’m the lead on four projects for major companies in Taiwan, and I end up doing pretty much all the work myself.  Good for job security, I suppose.  Not so good for my sleep habits.  Whatever, I don’t really have sleep “habits” anyway. 

I’ll tell you one thing, dear reader:  once upon a time, I had trouble falling asleep.  That time is no more.  For at least the past year or two, I have absolutely no anxiety about whether and when I’ll fall asleep when my head hits the pillow.  Even when it takes a little while, I don’t worry about it – I don’t constantly look at the alarm clock and calculate how much sleep I’m going to get.  Now, I’m grateful for every moment.  Even if it’s only three or four hours, I’m happy my head is on the pillow and I have a chance to rest.

I used to wish I could be one of those people who never had to sleep.  Not so any more.  That would mean certain and literal insanity for me.  I need the time outside of reality.  When I’m awake, my brain doesn’t stop.  I’m constantly squeezing “one more thing” into the day.  Sleep really does for me all those things the scientists say it does – it allows my brain to process the events of the day, etc.

For the most part, I’ve been running on about five or six hours of sleep a night.  I try to make it a point to leave myself one day on the weekend in which to “sleep in” – which basically means that I don’t set my alarm.  One might call this a “habit”, but it’s not compulsive like most of my habits.  I kind of have to strongarm my schedule to make room for a morning without waking up to an alarm.  This and getting some sort of exercise – usually hiking – on the weekend really keep me level during the week.

Getting back to the whole “busy at work” thing:  Taiwan is 12 hours ahead of me; I live in EST (UTC-5).  Which means that when my clients are waking up, I should be leaving work.  The only time I can talk to (email) my clients without a 12-hour time delay is in the evenings.  And I have “regular” job duties during the day.  Which means that I’ve been burning it at both ends lately.

Ha!  “Lately”.  I’m always burning it at both ends.  “There is no candle”, as Scott and I are fond of saying.

All the semi-whining aside, I really have to say that I’m kicking ass at work.  I dig meeting the high expectations of my clients and tackling seemingly insurmountable obstacles.  My eyes are crossed from looking at spreadsheets for hours on end, but I’m getting the work done and consistently turning out solid work product.

I’m always fantasizing about those “dare to be great” situations.  When I’ve taken a moment to analyze how people have historically succeeded in such situations, I invariably find that they just held steady on the course and did their job.  If it’s possible to say this with any degree of humility, I’m pretty proud of myself because (at least so far) I’ve been able to put my nose to the grindstone and get my work done – without looking around every five minutes, wondering who’s watching and when the next accolade will come.

Big change from a few years ago.  Enough rambling from me for tonight.  Stay tuned, dear reader: I have a couple of other things running through my head right now that won’t really fit into this post.  You very well may see some “refreshed content” later on in the day today.

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Scott May 16, 2009 at 11:44

There is no candle cause I’m all wick

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