A Bit on Isolation and Revelation

May 9, 2009 · 1 comment

If you’re reading this on Saturday morning, I’ll be in the Catskills, after a two week hiatus.  I can feel my need to be in the woods, closer to the goddess and working and sweating to achieve that closeness. 

A couple of weeks ago, I posted “Driven” late on Friday night, expecting to bushwack Kaaterskill High Peak in the morning.  Unfortunately, my body had other ideas.  I think I woke up around 8AM, realized I was too far behind schedule, and lay my head back down – not to pick it back up until the early hours of the afternoon.

Please read that post if you’re interested in where I’ll be hiking today.

This week has been crescedoing steadily and I’m not sure I’ve yet reached its peak.  No pun intended.  Work has been getting busier and busier for me, but I’m proud to report that I haven’t been freaking out and wasting time being over-anxious.  Along with work getting busy, I’ve managed to continue to fulfill my other daily commitments as well.

I think I’m currently struggling with my people-pleasing character defect – my desire to be “all things to all people”.  It was well that I posted about the Oxygen Mask Analogy earlier, as that has started to have particular significance in my life.  I need to take care of myself first, if I wish to be of any use to others.  If you read that post, I’m doing pretty well so far in my 30-day quest to eat breakfast, do pushups, and meditate every day.  I’ve slipped a bit with being purposeful about meditating, but that’s ok – this is a good reminder for me that I need to be more mindful of that promise to myself.

As far as my goals for the week go, I’ve made a good effort.  I still haven’t finished plugging my edits into Nicole’s novel, but I made a start and spent some time on that this week.  I’ve also spent some time searching for the missing piece to my car’s kayak-rack, even coming up with a separate solution – which didn’t work, but that’s ok too.  I made the attempt and it’s been raining all week, so I’m not kicking myself about not being prepared to kayak after work.  Things are still up in the air as far as wrangling a date or rejection out of a certain girl, but that’s fine as well – I made my attempt early in the week and am smart enough to recognize when the goddess is trying to teach me patience.  I’ve got a whole life ahead of me and really have no intention of feeling like a stalker.  Things will happen if/when they do.  Maybe I’ll start that Tai Chi DVD Saturday night – the week ain’t over yet.

Which brings me around to isolation.  I took care of my commitments this evening and pulled away from possible social engagements with friends.  I usually spend some time on Friday nights doing social things, but I recognized the need for a bit of decompression from the various stresses of the week.  I’m listening to some Bob Marley, which is a good change from my usual Metallica or J. S. Bach.  I’ve stayed true to Monday’s “Monday Monday” post and have shaken my routine up a bit this week – even though it went by as fast as the past several.  I made myself a solid dinner and am content to be alone tonight, not rushing to return emails or come up with a blog post topic.

I think I may now understand what the goddess was trying to tell me on Wednesday night when she pointed out that “a wise prince, marching the whole day, does not go far from his baggage waggons.  Although he may have brilliant prospects to look at, he quietly remains (in his proper place), indifferent to them.”  I can’t go running off half-cocked in search of every next thing that might bring me some pleasure for the moment.  For now at least, I need to stay close to home and diligently monitor the progress of the wagon-train of my life.  It’s time for me to stop setting new things in motion for a while and follow along with those aspects of my life that are already steadily rolling.

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

DarthTraya May 9, 2009 at 08:39

I always enjoy reading your blog posts. They are always good for making you stop and think for a moment. Quite a feat in our society where we are all running all the time.

I think we spend most of our lives trying to be all things to all people, especially when we are younger and the pull of peer pressure is far stronger. We sometimes seem to have this desire to relive high school over and over.

None of us can ever please everyone, it is physically impossible and in the end we end up being more of a parody of who we really are.

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