Saturday Night’s Dream

February 23, 2009 · 0 comments

I had a very interesting dream on Saturday night.  I think I’ve managed to tease out at least some of the messages in it, but I fear that others are still obscure to me.  My dreams are generally pretty mundane – I can pretty easily identify where the different pieces come from and how they relate to the previous day or so.  Every once in a while, though, I have a more lucid dream.  Some of these turn out to be somewhat prescient, but for the most part they are really just fodder for speculation and contemplation of some of the root or core aspects of my life.

Saturday night’s dream was of the lucid type:  most of the happenings can be categorized as non sequitur to recent events.  For the purposes of this post, it’s unfortunate that my tendency is more of a right-brain or holistic style, which is to say that I remember impressions better than I do sequence.  My dreams (and memories, for that matter) are generally more a set of impressions/feelings than a series of events.  Transitions are almost non-existent.  So here’s the dream:

I was riding in some kind of group transport (probably a minivan) up to a compound in the woods.  The compound was nestled among the trees at the base of a mountain (with other mountains close by).  It was basically a bunch of white clapboard buildings of varying sizes.  I think it was wintertime, because later on in the dream I was walking one of the trails through the snow. 

I remember being frustrated that I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings as we arrived at the compound: I couldn’t tell how we got there or what purpose each building served.  The compound wasn’t large, but I got “lost” in it relatively early on (I couldn’t tell/remember which building was the mess hall, etc.).  We were there for some sort of work- or research-related purpose, though I couldn’t tell you what.  It wasn’t all that important to me.  I say “we”, because I wasn’t there alone, but I may as well have been, because I don’t remember anyone else who was there; nor did I pay attention.  I was alone, for all intents and purposes.

I remember going out on one of the trails in order to accomplish one of the tasks for which we were there – I don’t know what the task was, but for argument’s sake, let’s say it was to collect some kind of samples from the woods, or to make sure that the trail led to the destination to which it was purported to lead.  The trail was relatively wide and was well-marked with regular blazes on the trees, and I remember taking note of the fact that I was leaving footprints in the snow, so if I lost the trail, getting back wouldn’t be too much trouble (unless, of course, I got turned around and started re-crossing my trail). 

After being on the trail for a bit, I realized that it was around 4PM and the sun was starting to decline.  I wouldn’t be able to make it to my destination and back to the compound before dark, and thus put myself at serious risk of getting lost (despite my relatively decent orienteering skills).  So I turned back.

On the way back, I realized that I was expected at the compound much earlier than I was now due to return.  I don’t remember exactly why – something like I had the key to the mess hall and was supposed to open it up for the group.  It was dark when I returned to the compound, and I was frustrated by the fact that I didn’t know which building was which, or which one I was supposed to be reporting to.

Flip to later in the evening:  I’m on my cot in my room.

Suddenly, I have company:  a lithe and lovely young (and naked) girl with a mess of brunette curls on her head.  She has beautifully smooth alabaster skin, sparkling, intelligent eyes, and an easy and ready smile (none of these adjectives are meant in a “dirty” sexual sense).

At this point, dear readers, my dream did become sexually explicit in a soft kind of way.  I’ll do the best I can to describe the events that transpired without turning this into some trashy romance-novel-esque post.  Please try to remember that my purpose is to relate to you things that deal with my mind and soul, rather than my glands. 

My brunette nymph and I began the dance of foreplay, which we both enjoyed for a bit.  As we approached the point of consummation, my nymph said to me “you’re not ready”, to which I replied “yes, I am”.  In an absolutely physical sense, I was probably 90% “ready”, with the full knowledge that once we took the next step, I’d be at the usual 110% – but I needed the process to continue in order to reach that mark.  Actually, I could have reached the 110% then and there, but for some reason didn’t want to put the effort in – similar to driving, I wanted to continue along and upshift at the right point, rather than downshift and redline in order to jump forward for a bit, only to upshift twice more on the way.  We said these things to each other twice more during the dance.

We lay together for a bit more after that – maybe talking, maybe not – but did not reach that point of consummation (I rarely get laid in my dreams anyway).  There was no frustration on either of our parts, and I think this is around the point at which I woke up.  I did not wake up with any intense feelings – no desire that I had pushed the issue, but no real sense of satisfaction either.  Just a kind of flatline.  I rolled over and went back to sleep, but my brunette nymph did not visit me again that night.

So what can I interpret from this lucid dream?  Well dear, reader, I’ll tell you what I pulled from it, and you can feel free to tell me your thoughts – I appreciate my dialogue with you.

I need to re-prioritize things in my life.  The fact that I was unsure of where I was going or what I was supposed to be doing in the early part of the dream speaks to me of lack of direction.  I have various projects in differing states of non-completion, both at work and in my personal life.  I’ve been kind of like a painter who walks around his studio, adding a stroke here and a stroke there, but not actually “finishing” any one of the paintings. 

When I get to work this morning, I need to spend some time cleaning off my desk and make a list of the projects I’m working on, then set goals for myself for completion of these projects.  Naturally, some of them may have to be put on a shelf to be completed at a later date.  I’ll talk to my boss about these.

When I get home tonight, I need to clean off my desk (possible pattern here? ;-) and make a list of priorities and figure out the sequence of steps I need to take in order to reach my goals.  This includes spending a bit of time on my computer – organizing my files and cleaning up my auto-open tabs on iExplorer.  Right now, four of those tabs open directly to internet dating websites.  I think that may be taking up too much of my time – when was the last time I posted about my internet dating experiences?  I seem to have reached a sort of dead-end with that and keep banging my head against the wall in an attempt to make it work.  Maybe I’ll re-evaluate those situations at a later date.

In my first explanation of this dream to my friend Mike, I used the word “complex” in place of the word “compound” I’ve used above.  Mike made a literal connection (in a psychological sense) to the word “complex”, but I don’t really know that any of those schools of psychology are necessarily commensurate with what I related.  That said, there still exists plenty for me to write (in separate posts) about my oedipus and martyrdom complexes.

And as far as the girl goes – who can say?  That part of the dream wasn’t particularly sexually-charged in an emotional sense, even though the physical aspects would appear to be on the surface – which is why I attempted to make the description as sterile and objective as possible.  The “you’re not ready” aspect probably relates to my own inner struggle with relationships with the opposite sex in general.  Again, I think the pursuit thereof has been too much of a priority for me in the past few weeks/months.  Though my actions may not play out well in the written word as accounted above, I find them heartening insofar as I believe I was true to my real-life principles in my dream. 

That is, while I am looking for a meaningful relationship with someone of the opposite sex, it doesn’t mean that I have to act out on my desire to people-please when it runs contrary to my own inner compass.  Whether I’m “ready” or not isn’t something that I can tell right now – I actually have to take the next steps in the dance in order to find out.  I won’t know whether I’m a shitty waltzer until I’m out on the floor stepping on someone’s toes.

I’ll tell you something though, dear reader:  if I perchance meet my nymph on the street in the near future, I will definitely say (in all seriousness) “you were in my dream!”  How awesome a line is that?  ;-)

No puns of a sexual nature are intended herein at all – though I count at least 7 possibilities.

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